CH. 19 «Martian Couples»

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09-03-2308

It seems I can’t look anywhere these days without seeing another pair. Walking slowly with beaming smiles, hand in hand without a care in the world they pass. Happy couples: left, right and center. Everyone appears to be in a relationship.

Everyone’s got their lovi. I can’t even double take at a girl without seeing her smooching some tanned, muscled slagvent over my shoulder. It’s frustrating. When I’m to my lonesome with a cloud of smoke, people watching usually makes me feel better about my situation. Why does there have to be so many couples about these days?

It surely hasn’t been this depressing all year long. I remember not more than two weeks ago sitting at the boardwalk watching summer girls passing on the orange sand. Bikini season at full steam. Enough eye candy to give you a sugar hangover tomorrow; anguish of an entirely different definition. There truly seemed to be no end to the procession of scantily clad women, not until now anyway.

No, it seems now the pairing instinct has kicked in and each of those seemingly untouchable women have begun to dig in for winter. I understand well enough, Earth trend dictates that everyone wants to be single all summer long to taste as much life as they can, and then settle down through the cold months and split again when the flowers bloom. What doesn’t make sense is why here on Mars, where there are no cold months, no snow to lock yourself inside from, no icy gales to bundle up in, you can watch it happen every year right as rain. But they’re not sticking together to keep warm and there’s no reason for seasonal relationship fluxes in a place with no seasons.

I can’t deny that I don’t feel a tug though. I’ve been single for nearly a year now, and only really happily so for maybe hal of that. But its been the greatest, most productive time of my life, and it hasn’t let down since it started to get good. But I guess I still feel it, what everyone else must, that certain loneliness.

Is it cause I’m tired of being single? Am I sick of not having, or just knowing I don’t have, a loved one to turn to for anything from a hug to a dry shoulder? Or is it social brainwashing that has me down? Because I see it every day it could just be a bandwagon effect, making me want to catch up and grab hold of the relationship cart again. Get your very own Lovi today! Perhaps I’m just never satisfied with life, always feeling like theres a hole inside. Its been too long to remember if seeing someone can even fill that void. Could it be I’m just jeally?

I must note how strange it is that just a random couple walking their pet over there invokes such a strong feeling within me. Logically, I’m better off now than I ever have been–young, single, and talented living on Mars. I’ve really had no desire to break out of bachelorhood, but I still want what they have for some reason. I want to be loved, to be listened to, to be warm. But do I want it badly enough to possibly forfeit everything going for me?

I take a final drag of my cigi and put it out on my heel, sinking into the plastic bench as I exhale.

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PREV: CH. 18 «Smoking Indoors»

PREV: CH. 18 «Smoking Indoors»

NEXT: CH. 20 «No Bugs»

NEXT: CH. 20 «No Bugs»

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